希望我写了出来，感觉会好点。。

实在太难过了。。 难过得连呼吸都辛苦。。

再也找不到那里可以发泄。。

统统都写在这里。

帮我保守秘密好么？

安静的，等等我。

等我从难过中再找寻那久违的笑容。

Betta Fish

Walked pass this little authentic fish shop near my work place the other day. The twinkle of sun light reflecting on those glass bottles caught my attention.

After speaking to the shop owner, I decided to get a betta fish myself and here I introduce Norry.

Norry is a blueish red half moon betta, really cool colors but a friendly personality - Not quite good as a betta but I dont plan to place him for any tournaments so its perfectly fine with me.

I learnt to know that the ancestors of Norry really lead a pitiful and hard life. Betta fish owners dont really treasure them as a living fish, and in fact, most of them are seen as a tool to fight and win some bets over the gambling table.

They will keep them in small tiny bottles and hide them in the darkest closet they can find in their house. No feeding for at least 2 weeks and the poor betta will have to survive on eating up his own waste. This reminds me of the refuges during Japanese war time - whats the difference anyway?

When the pitiful betta is poured into the battle tank, he sees his opponent as his feeding food instead of some same species friends which end up tearing each other apart.

The worst is after the battle, the losers go home with some disappointed and angry owner who flush them down the bowl or some random drain.

No one look at betta as they are a kind of fish who is just fighting to live everyday.

Can people just have a little more love for animals in their heart?

They are just too adorable and innocent to be hurt without any reason, and most importantly, when you can prevent that to happen?

TRYING TO EXPLAIN

Have you ever try to explain when no one is listening?

Have you ever experience the feeling of lost of words?

Have you ever felt you are left alone with all fingers pointing at you?

Have you ever felt so hopeless when the one you love, the one you thought will be there to support you all the time is absence when you needed them so much?

There is nothing i can do, hopeless , desperate, despair, disappointed and sad..

That's when i cry - letting the pieces of my heart drop from my eyes.

TEARS

Why do i cry so much?

Because i know words cant even explain what i really feel

Why do i cry so much?

Because i know my words cant reach you anymore, you arent listening with your heart

Why do i cry so much?

Because your words hurt me so badly, and you are saying i am putting up a drama.

Why do i cry so much?

Because i feel so lonely, i was standing all alone all these time

Why do i cry so much?

Because i didnt expect those words will come from you

Why do i cry so much?

Simply because i care too much.

我一点都不重要，对么？

如果我是重要的。。为何你每次都急着挂电话？

如果我是重要的。。为何都是我给你打电话？

如果我是重要的。。为何我每次都有种被敷衍的感觉？

如果我是重要的。。为何我生病了，你也能不闻不问？

如果我是重要的。。为何我总是在等你关心我？

如果我是重要的。。为何跟我一起你都不会笑？

如果我是重要的。。

为什么我打这篇部落格会想哭

我真的那么不重要么？

十字路口

站在十字路口的你，会怎么选择？

真正愛你的男人是....

抱起來很溫暖，囉唆起來很煩，在身邊討厭，看不見又很懷念的人。

吃剩下一半的麵不要浪費，他會接過去幫妳吃乾淨的人。

大冰腳貼在他大腿弄暖，他即使很冷，也不會把妳腳踢開的人。

一起去大賣場買東西，總是比妳多提兩大袋，還要空出手牽妳的人.

逛街，總是從頭到尾『良性勸導』妳不要亂花錢的人。

生理期來，抓到妳偷吃紅豆冰，會很生氣罵妳的人。

妳生大病，他卻比你還要辛苦的人。

出門前，妳相信他的眼光多於鏡子的一個人。

把買衛生棉已經當成每個月記得採買的男人

吵完架做錯事，還會厚臉皮跑來牽妳手的人。

過了N週年的戀愛紀念日後，就會忘記情人節、聖誕節存在的人。

為了看現場轉播的棒球大聯盟，敢把可愛的妳推到旁邊涼的人。

很少送妳花，卻常愛送妳垃圾袋、衛生棉、水果...的人.

沒事一定會窩在妳家，有事還是窩在妳家，讓妳開始懷疑他是不是沒有朋友的人。

最喜歡看妳開心的大笑，然後也對著妳傻笑的人。

漏接妳電話，就會打爆妳手機的人。

養妳吃飯、養妳看電影、養妳買小東西，動不動就開始為以後練習怎樣包養妳的人。

最害怕討厭聽到妳啜泣，只要聽到妳哭，還是會不辭千里的飛奔到妳身邊的人。

偷偷的為妳做了很多事，卻從來不和你邀功的人。

已經認為自己的手臂是枕頭的人。

膽敢會和妳搶遙控器，最後卻只能陪妳看慾望城市的人。

老是可以讓週遭好朋友感到好奇的人。

他一不在，妳就會心煩意亂心不在焉，而開始很想念他的人...