Tired

Felt so tired when i reach home.. Cuz this means that i need extra more energy and more brains to think of a way to please my parents - especially my dad. I am losing freedom, myself, my friends when i reach home.. I cannot go out, I am not allowed to go out too long, no night meeting... I just wished I could stay in INTI for the rest of my life..Maybe its the only freedom I have there.. To mix around with friends, laugh, sit and do nothing, do whateva i like... haiz.. those days seems so far away.. Just wished i have another sem.

Sometimes I try my best to talk to them, make them understand how i feel and what i want.. but they think of what is the best for me.. I understand and I appreciate what they planned for me.. but PLEASE... just please look back.. are you guys missing something? Had you guys ever think of my feelings? Am i smiling?

You wanted the best for me, but i am not happy.. so is this the best? It is such a big issue that I am going out with my friends, and just for half the day.. why? Why make me suffer? Home should be a place where i am hidden from all pressure and unhappiness I face, but, I am suffocating and so depress at home... Why?

Others relax at home, planning for vacation.. but I am so hardworking to them.. I am searching for jobs, looking forward for the next semester to come.. Because my home is my endless worries.. Its hard for me to breath.